Ask Reginald L. Theophilus III

If (when? if?) you and Alice ever get married, where would you like to go for your honeymoon?

Sun, 12 May 2013 19:15:57 -0700

A bedroom.

Or a tabletop, a sturdy tree limb, a ferris wheel, a unicycle, an inflated bounce house, so on and so forth. Because I’m flexible like that.

Literally.

What's going to happen when pigs fly?

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:34:16 -0700

I live in Wonderland. Pigs have been flying here for eons. Green pigs, at that. Next!

ARE YOU A GOD

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:22:46 -0700

Yes.

*is zapped anyway*

Dearest Reggie, I am no Merida but I do sport red hair and LOADS of freckles, possibly more than you could count. What would you say if I said that I loved you??

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:15:48 -0700

I would say that my front door is (still) unlocked.

Just saw the new installment. That's gotta be a disappointment for you, huh Reg?

Tue, 23 Apr 2013 18:36:20 -0700

what do you think of Tim Burton's Hatter?

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 23:08:16 -0700

You've been chasing after Alice for a while. What do you think you'd do if she ever walked up to you and confessed her love to you?

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 22:45:00 -0700

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 22:36:29 -0700

You have my sincere condolences.

Where did you learn to dance with such finesse?

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:24:41 -0700

ON YOUR FUTURE GRAVE

You know, there's another redhead with freckles roaming the Disney parks....with a sketchpad and a camera ~nudge nudge wink wink~ But for the love of mercy don't tell the Captain I sent you ~hides~

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:17:00 -0700

I know who you speak of, and the answer is a hearty NO THANK YOU. That woman created me so I expect that she could very well uncreate me, too. Do you want my grave marker to say that my existence was ended by a gum eraser?

Hello Hater M. i haven't seen you since the end of the looking glass wars. I`ve heard you and Alyss Heart have gotten together as of late. But I digress I cant chat any longer i`m late and its a very important date sincerely Bibwit Harte

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:10:08 -0700

Can you really do a futterwacken dance as I have heard? And do you suppose Alice would like to futterwacken with you as well? =}

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 15:07:35 -0700

Pshh, I TAUGHT that Derp - I mean Depp - fellow to futterwacken. And I do hope that Alice will one day futterwacken with me.

…vigorously.

If someone wanted to murder you what method would have the highest chance of success?

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 14:57:33 -0700

A scratch-and-sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool.

~ Mr. T

What is your favorite kind of tree?

Fri, 14 Sep 2012 13:09:31 -0700

The kind that I don’t fall from.

~ Mr. T

what would happen if you drank coffee?

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 22:02:14 -0700

GIFSoup

Why did you look so sad when the spider came? Did Alice reject you or something?

Mon, 03 Sep 2012 21:50:00 -0700

Sad? I think ‘alluringly pensive’ is the term you’re looking for.

~ Mr. T

Alice is in the Electrical Parade...why aren't you?

Sat, 01 Sep 2012 08:33:39 -0700

WHAT HAVE THE SPIDERS SAID TO YOU!?!?!?!!1/1/1/1

Sun, 19 Aug 2012 22:38:00 -0700

REGGIE! Merida is what... 16???? D=

Sat, 18 Aug 2012 22:28:59 -0700

I am a century and a half old, darling. Two more years will be no strain on the likes of me. There’s an upside, too: she’ll probably have more freckles by then! >:c)

~ Mr. T

THIS IS OF UTMOST IMPORTANCE

Sat, 18 Aug 2012 20:17:00 -0700

I’ve come to an earth-shaking decision in regards to my love life. You see, whilst in pursuit of a very small green pig (the wee beast had made off with my left shoe) it suddenly hit me….a tree, that is; I’ve never been one to watch where I am going. But I digress! I have decided that my second choice in matters of love - in the crushing event that I cannot win the adoration of a certain persnickity Cricket - is no longer Ms. Charlotte La’bouff. She has officially been replaced with the fine lass pictured below.

Actually….if both she and Alice launched themselves at me in a sudden fit of passion at the same time I might experience a moment of indecision. Why? WHY NOT?! The hair! The freckles! The sass! The knack for projectile weapons! The freckles! The accent! The fearlessness! The wild spirit! The freckles!

We could count each other’s freckles…think of the romantic potential right there, ladies. I am excited on many, many levels by that alone (and some of those aforementioned levels shall remain tastefully undescribed.)

Oh, and I wouldn’t need to concern myself with protecting her from bears. That spitfire can contend with the occasional angry ursine all on her own, thankyouverymuch.

~ Mr. T