Pshh, I TAUGHT that Derp - I mean Depp - fellow to futterwacken. And I do hope that Alice will one day futterwacken with me.

…vigorously. 

A scratch-and-sniff sticker on the bottom of a swimming pool.

~ Mr. T

The kind that I don’t fall from.

~ Mr. T

GIFSoup

Sad? I think ‘alluringly pensive’ is the term you’re looking for.

~ Mr. T

I am a century and a half old, darling. Two more years will be no strain on the likes of me. There’s an upside, too: she’ll probably have more freckles by then! >:c)

~ Mr. T

I’ve come to an earth-shaking decision in regards to my love life. You see, whilst in pursuit of a very small green pig (the wee beast had made off with my left shoe) it suddenly hit me….a tree, that is; I’ve never been one to watch where I am going. But I digress! I have decided that my second choice in matters of love - in the crushing event that I cannot win the adoration of a certain persnickity Cricket - is no longer Ms. Charlotte La’bouff. She has officially been replaced with the fine lass pictured below.

Actually….if both she and Alice launched themselves at me in a sudden fit of passion at the same time I might experience a moment of indecision. Why? WHY NOT?! The hair! The freckles! The sass! The knack for projectile weapons! The freckles! The accent! The fearlessness! The wild spirit! The freckles!

We could count each other’s freckles…think of the romantic potential right there, ladies. I am excited on many, many levels by that alone (and some of those aforementioned levels shall remain tastefully undescribed.)

Oh, and I wouldn’t need to concern myself with protecting her from bears. That spitfire can contend with the occasional angry ursine all on her own, thankyouverymuch.

~ Mr. T